It’s a constant struggle of mine to conform to the norm, or at least what is perceived to be the norm. I am, no doubt, a people-pleaser. Having those around me happy while I silently suffer, has been a burden in my life. To Break Free from the Confining Chains of Judgement and others’ preconceived opinions is hard for me. And here I am writing a blog about living your best life on your own terms. Maybe I should heed my own advice more often.
The Mission: To demonstrate self-awareness and Break Free from the Confining Chains of Judgment.
I wish I could tell you where it all started. All I know is I had to be the best me. However, I wasn’t the best me for myself, I was the best me for other people. Growing up, I was the perfect child for my parents. For my teachers, I was a stellar student. In any relationship, I was the model friend or girlfriend. Nonetheless, as luck would have it and only to prove my conformity correct, that one time I crossed the line to be myself, I was the bad guy.
It never failed that when I actually did go off and make my own decisions or did what I wanted to do or say that it backfired. It only proved to myself that being compliant was not only easier but it was more peaceful. Although the only one that suffered, the only one that it harmed, was me. I wasn’t true to myself nor was I being honest with how I really felt as a person. Hence, to this day, do I even really know who I truly am?
Because I was so used to being somebody else, it’s scary being who I feel on the inside. Altering my true and unique self for the sake of others hindered my own personal growth. Only those who identify with me realize how difficult it is to be someone they aren’t. Some people have it easy and they really don’t care what others think of them. I admire those people. They simply walk through their life being themselves and not caring about others’ opinions about them. I don’t know if it’s confidence or a lack of caring that allows them to be themselves or maybe I’m just too uptight and care too much. Regardless, I admire that quality in those types of people.
And I’m not saying to go run a muck and be a crazy person to everyone you meet. The struggle I’m implying here is you literally alter your thoughts, actions, and personality for those around you based on their thoughts, actions, and personality. Thus, you chameleon-ize yourself to THEIR true, authentic selves. Nevertheless, Break Free from the Confining Chains of Judgement, proves to be a possible, yet terrifying Journey. One that I am constantly trying to travel.
Please enjoy this poem that I recently wrote:
Chained
The pressure inside squeezes tight with each thought,
Going against everything that I’ve been previously taught.
Conceived notions swirl endlessly throughout my mind,
Trying to surface, but I’m continuously left blind.
Like an innocent prisoner trapped behind unjust steel,
Waiting your entire life for an indisputable appeal.
Beads of sweat bubble out at the most ridiculous times,
For actions committed that aren’t even real crimes.
A shameful flush engulfs my body in its entirety,
And the only thing to blame is our judgmental society.
Heart, mind and soul are confined by massive chains,
Guilt, remorse and confusion are all that remains.
Ridicule and ignorance bear their ugly heads,
Destroying lives like the monsters under your bed.
My purest form is treated like a dirty scandal,
Only forcing me to feel like a revolting vandal.
Hiding behind a deceitful mask of undoubtable lying,
The only way to stay afloat is by simply complying.
Busting from these chains to finally be free,
Unhiding my self-expression to ultimately be me.
I can’t tell you that I know all the answers to help anyone through this judgmental society. We are in a world now where self-expression is more abundant, but a vast majority still lingers that can’t accept others as they are. I’m not saying you have to agree with everything an individual does or stands for, but accepting them and their right to uniqueness needs to be paramount. Some people need to get off their high horses and realize that some people are merely riding goats.
The Moral: I will always say (until I’m blue in the face) to be yourself. Express yourself in ways it will most benefit you in your Journey Called Life. And I know it’s hard to Break Free from the Confining Chains of Judgement, but just remember, this is YOUR life. How do you want to live it? Stay true to yourself!
Enlighten, Encourage & Embrace your Journey Called Life.
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