Pain is Inevitable, but so is Healing 2

Picture this: you’re sitting with a friend at a restaurant.  The two of you are joking, gossiping and having a grand old time.  Your friend says something milk-out-of-the-nose funny.  So you let out a loud guffaw as you whip your head backwards in laughter.  In that split second, you slam your head on the backboard of the seat.  Yup – that hurt, didn’t it?  You see, in this Journey Called Life, one minute you’re on top of the world and the next, you have a gigantic goose egg on your noggin.  I assure you, though, that goose egg will heal.  Pain is Inevitable, but so is Healing.

The Mission:  To give you reassurance that the pain you feel in your life eventually heals because Pain is Inevitable, but so is Healing.

I don’t care if it’s physical or emotional pain; we’ve all been through it.  It’s easy when the pain is physical.  While walking in the dark, you stub your toe.  You may yell, throw a few curse words around and pamper yourself, but after a few minutes the throbbing subsides and you forget it ever happened.  If you broke a bone, that time will take longer to heal, but in a few months your bone fuses back together and the annoying, itchy cast can finally come off.

It’s when the emotional pain slams in your life that things become a bit trickier.  Let’s dive right in to the broken heart.  There is no specific healing time frame with a broken heart.  So many factors go into it: did the love start to fade, how invested were you in the relationship, was the breakup a sudden shock, are you an emotional person, do you have a heart made of stone?  Every person and every relationship is different.  In my personal experience, I’ve been heartbroken for months and I’ve been heartbroken for hours.  There is no time frame; however, it does take time.  Just remember that no matter what your time frame of a heart-break is, it will heal your heart.

My dream job of teaching broke my heart.  If you’ve read my book, Suffering Amid Depression, you know the struggle I have had with obtaining a teaching profession.  It was a Thursday afternoon that my heart broke from a refused job offer.  It took 5 years for my heart to fully heal from that.  FIVE YEARS is a long ass time to harbor a broken heart, but that’s how invested I was in my undetermined career path.  In TIME (and tears), I have accepted my fate.  That’s not to say I don’t look back and do the “I wonder if”, but I have acquired acceptance in my heart.  That acceptance put a stitch in that tear.

Healing also corresponds with forgiveness.  If you’re hurting, one way to heal faster is to forgive.  If someone did you wrong, your best bet is to forgive.  Easier said than done, I know.  To fully give up your anger and resentment towards someone, to put yourself in their shoes and to accept their rotten behaviors is never easy.  But I guarantee that if you succeed, a weight will be lifted and another stitch will heal that broken piece in your heart.  Again, this will not work for everyone because people and situations are different, but a wave of peace will come over you if true forgiveness is achieved.  Trust me, I’ve been there.

Time and Forgiveness isn’t the only thing that can heal your hurt.  Opportunity is the quickest way to heal a heart.  However, this will start as a Band-Aid until Time gives you the stitch.  Example time…  A pet dies.  Your heart is aching.  You are in desperate need to fill the void, so you go out and buy another pet.  This is a Band-Aid on the pain.  Sure, you filled the void, but the hurt of the original loss will still remain until Time heals you.

This is also said for rebound relationships.  You know you’ve had one or two in your relationship history.  It’s a temporary fix for a deeper problem.  Not to say rebounds don’t last, but in the beginning there will be residual heartache from the original breakup when you’re alone crying over a pint of ice cream while watching The Notebook as Allie struggles between Noah and Lon…

I know what you’re thinking… “Great advice, Amanda.  Give myself time, that doesn’t help me”.  This is where you need to find happy, healthy outlets.  Think about your interests and hobbies.  Focus on that painting you’ve wanted to start.  Learn to play an instrument.  Reconnect with your best friends.  Binge on Netflix.  Cry in the shower.  Write a book.  Take more walks.  Whatever makes you feel better, do it.  Notice I said makes you feel BETTER… you are better than your pain.  Don’t let the pain consume you and don’t let it beat you.  Rise above it and push through it.  You ARE strong enough.

The Moral: Pain is inevitable, but so is Healing.  Just cut yourself some slack and give your heart time.  You will get through this happy and sometimes painful Journey Called Life.

Enlighten, Encourage & Embrace your Journey Called Life.

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