Growing up, I acquired a terrible personality trait along the way. Furthermore, even though I am aware of this detriment, it still looms over me like a dark cloud. I would like to think I’m not alone in this horrid idiosyncrasy, but sometimes when I look around at others, it feels like I am. I care too much about what other people think. That is until I realized a Foolproof Way to Stop Caring What Others Think.
The Mission: Caring for what others think inhibits your freedom to truly be yourself. To stop the incessant mind chatter, practice this Foolproof Way to Stop Caring What Others Think.
Needing to clean my room to perfection, so my mom would approve. Getting good grades, so my teachers would look at me as a star student. Saying the right things and the right moment, so friends wouldn’t think I’m weird. Worked the blood, sweat, and tears (literally) out of myself, so my bosses would value my work ethic. Allowing strangers to go ahead, so they didn’t think I was an asshole. All of these examples have one main component in common: my actions depended on the approval of someone else. Therefore, my entire life, I’ve been living for someone else.
It’s not like I came to some enlightened epiphany one night realizing I was living my life for others. It has always bothered me, but I just figured that’s who I was. People-pleasing was just a part of me, of my soul. It was who I was. However, the older I get, the more it pisses me off. I was determined to find a Foolproof Way to Stop Caring What Others Think.
I would observe everyone around me. It seemed so effortless for everyone else to be their natural selves. They spouted out their preposterous opinions, shouted when they didn’t need to, bravely made distasteful jokes that actually made people laugh, and did whatever the hell pleased them. I admired these people… every single one of them. How did they not care that they made a mistake? They just snorted while laughing, they aren’t embarrassed? Rude comments are flung all over the place, don’t they see how it affects others? Regardless, they still carry on unapologetically without a worry in the world. How?
Google was my best friend trying to find a Foolproof Way to Stop Caring What Others Think, but very few things resonated with me. I decided to take things in my own hands. I sat quietly and meditated, until my Foolproof Way to Stop Caring What Others Think revelation hit me.
A Foolproof Way to Stop Caring What Others Think was to think of everyone as Birds.
Before you X out of my post, hear me out.
The thing about birds is there are so many types of birds: all different sizes, shapes, colors, sounds, behaviors, manners, etc. They all have different personalities too! There are birds that are loud, happy, angry, mean, cute, bossy, flashy, dull, arrogant, stoic, boring, rude, gross, strange, annoying, beautiful, classy, ugly, bright, funny, smart, dumb, quiet, goofy, friendly, the list goes on. The same goes for people. Everyone is different.
Honor what bird you are within yourself. Don’t compare or care what other birds think of you, because in the end, it doesn’t matter. Each bird will flock with similar feathers and go back to its respective nests. Birds don’t care what other birds think, so why should you care? Even if you do something that is considered dumb, will the other person dwell on it as much or as long as you do? Probably not because you are your own worst critic.
Additionally, it’s none of your business what others think of you. Just like it’s none of another’s business what you think of them. It doesn’t impede their life if you think poorly of them; they just continue on their merry way. As should you!
A Foolproof Way to Stop Caring What Others Think is to choose You and your happiness. There is a quote by Zen Shin: “A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.” However, staying with my bird theme, I modified it: “A bird does not think of competing with the bird next to it. It just sings.”
Self-improvements are never easy. It takes self-realization and looking at things from a different perspective. In other words, it takes constant work. I’m not out of the woods yet with my “not caring”. It will take a conscious effort to consistently remind myself to honor my bird within. I’m a Chickadee, by the way… what are you?
The Moral: The Foolproof Way to Stop Caring What Others Think is to be proud of the bird you are and fly free!
Enlighten, Encourage & Embrace your Journey Called Life.
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Nailed it. I”m so glad you found a way.